Many people have told me, "love your attitude, u're dealing with this really well" etc. Hell, i wrote about it myself a little while ago - i'm coping with this disease the best i know how...but I can't help but wonder tho, "Am i being naive/just plain stupid?" i'm not normally 1 to wear rose coloured glasses and see life as a bunch of roses, but i refuse to let My Situation get me down - don't think my friends will let it happen anyway.
Reading about other people's experiences (what i may have to "look forward" to) is sometimes depressing/alarming/scary. It makes me more determined to fight the shit and fight it hard, but i can't help but think "is my fighting in vain?" - i'm going to PT, taking all these drugs, working out...is it all for naught?
- sometimes i want to stop taking the drugs, of course when i miss a dose i swear i can tell the difference.
- I will save so much money if i give up my personal trainer - but then I cannot go to a regular gym, do anything on my own and try to walk out of there because that is just a recipe for disaster
- My PT appts. are at 7:30am so that work is not affected (my manager gives me enuf slack as it is - so i'm trying not to take advantage of that) so of course i have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get there on time...fun fun - not so much!!
Would all of that stop the MS in its tracks? Will they dissuade it from completely consuming me? How much (if at all) will/could doing all those things slow the progression of the disease? will my +ve attitude turn into a -ve one or just how long will all this positivity last?I continue to have so many fears of what the future could hold, what could possibly happen on any given day when i wake up? what is the MS's plan?
so many questions with so few answers.
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