Wednesday, April 16

Bad Day

Last week Friday wasn't a good day for me. I was in a funk for most of the day - "feeling sorry for myself".  I think it's okay for me to have those days (i'm only human) - luckily they're few and far between so I guess that makes it better - I s'pose. Was supposed to go out that night...sure didn't.  I wish that I can do things on a whim without thinking bout whether or not the place/situation is "Stacey friendly". If needed, I always do my "due diligence" to find out but it gets old sometimes and those times I just say, "FiretrUCK it, I cyah bother go/do".


Monday, April 14

Weird Freaky Sh**

2 Friday mornings ago,  I woke up (at whatever ungodly hour) to pee and realized (I can always tell when I getting out the bed if it'll end in drama) that "uh oh. This may not end well"...and it didn't. I slid off the bed instead of getting up and off.  Sometimes when that happens, I can't get up right away (it takes a number of tries and deep breaths) but luckily this time I made it in one try, and finally got to the porcelain goddess but all along I just wasn't feeling right.

anyhoo...I organised my business and walked back to the bed and...oh shizznit, I couldn't get back in - won't bore u with the details, but I eventually got back in and went back to sleep.  Woke up to "go" to work and SAME FRIGGIN THING happened. At this, point, I start to worry because nothing is working how it should, including my hand that jes refused to open - I couldn't even finish washing my face because I couldn't cup the water in the hand. Geez, what fresh hell was this now???  

Well, I finally finished getting dressed, started working and things kinda started getting normal. My PT came over (I had an opportunity to get in home physical therapy so I took it), we went thru his lil routine and I was definitely back to normal by the time he left…hmmm...I started thinking…I remembered my dream.

Truth be told, I don't remember when, in the sequence of things, I had it but I dreamt that there was a strange man in the apartment and when I realized, I tried to turn over (I was actually lying in bed at the time) to grab a nearby stun gun and couldn't because I was panicking (whenever I start to panic my body shuts down and try as I might, I can't get things to work).  I kept trying to turn over  and...nothing. Eventually, I heard a voice I knew.  Now, I don't know if the man was someone I knew after all or what (u know how dreams are), but that's when I woke up. At that point I remember saying to myself,"whew was just a dream". I don't know if I actually moved when i woke up, but I know that I was alert and knew that everything was alright because it was just a dream.  


I really think that that is what had me so "in a mess" when I woke up.  Does it make sense? Nope, not to me but it's the only explanation I have. Now, I hadda be careful what I dream too? Steups!!! Come nah man MS, u cyah b serious!

But seriously, is that freaky or what?!?


Wednesday, April 9

So Guess What Happened

It's been awhile. In fact, the last time I remember bussin my azz was in December when one of the boots I was wearing held on to the carpet (yet another reason for me to HATE winter) altho for some reason I feel like there was another between then and now. Anyhoo, it happened last week Friday - it felt kinda weird too - kinda like I just didn't understand what was happening. 

One of the worst things that can happen if you walk with a cane is when/if the cane does not go where you expect it to go. I'm minding my own business trying to get wherever as "fast" as i can and I move the cane into position and something's in its way.  Remember, it's part of my anatomy, it's how I walk so its equivalent to a regular person's tripping on something.  Well last week I was walking on a hard wood floor (the bottom of the cane MIGHT also have been a little wet) and well, I placed it and it slid across the floor. UGH!  Of course I tried to fight gravity but it usually wins and, well, it did. It happened in front of G and K.  K said she heard it/me first, turned around and saw me go down in slow motion, yet she couldn't do anything to stop it.  G picked up the cane and looked at the bottom and found something stuck there - who knows, maybe that also contributed to it.

I banged up my elbow rhell hard, so that hurt for a while after. I also scratched it up so I currently have some scars in the area.  The next day, G and I were talking and when I showed her my elbow, she commented, "you rhell resilient yes" and she's right on some level - I've had so many bruises and scars as a result of falling; walking round looking like a lil chile with all my battle scars. 



I do marvel at the ability of the body to heal itself; the fact that everything just goes back to normal sometimes and you wouldn't even know that there once was a problem is quite amazing to me.  

Anyhoo, lemme go and nurse my elbow back to normal…hol it dong until next time!

Monday, April 7

Walk MS 2014

the MS Walk in Atlanta is on 4/26 this year…i'm organising T-Shirts for the team with Cittizen as we speak.


Wednesday, April 2

Gillenya


Gilly!

So...can't really say too much bout it yet but I'll say this. As long as I continue down this path of "no negative effects", I'll keep taking it. It has a number of things going for it and is better than Tecfidera (in my book).

  • First of all, it's a pill - HALLELUJAH! I remember 9 years ago (wow), sitting talking to the lady and I had 4 choices.  The bottom line?  Decide how many times I wanted to inject myself…steups
  • It's once a day - just have to keep up with one pill everyday and i can take it anytime with or without food (another pill I take is extended release so I have to be cognizant of that and spread out the doses)
  • It's much better looking than Tecfidera - bright aqua like colour vs pale yellow and white…i always link bright blue to poison
  • It's smaller than it too so for people who cyah swallow pills, J, it easier to take I'm sure
Of course, you hadda take the good with the bad. I got my first shipment last week Tuesday, opened it up and I don't think the manufacturer packaged it with MS patients in mind.  When I get pills from the pharmacy, they are either prepackaged or come in a generic looking pill bottle (with a spin off cap) because the pharmacist had to count them out.  Well Gilly is prepackaged...in a box...u know the box with the foil on one side so u jes hadda snap out the pill? Well I don't think that packaging is very MS friendly. Luckily for me, I'm right handed and my left hand is the problem hand so I'm able to get them out without too much drama buh wha bout others who cannot?  Won't it just be easier for us if it were packaged in a bottle?  Of course!!  but you know the drug companies are all about that bottom line - they probably save a few $$$ using the box/tinfoil packaging.

anyhoo, time will tell what Gilly is all about - i'm being and thinking all positive thoughts!