Thursday, June 23

Stax 4 Part Deux

Before I start writing this post, I hadda say that I'm not writing in any order here. I'm just talking about the past year and if I have anything current to include, well that'll happen too.

The dream of Stax 4 being an Infiniti coupe remains and will always be just that...a dream. 

Had a real nice picture to insert are but either my dinosaur of a laptop, blogger or both of them together were fighting me so u hadda picture me in a deep, red G35 coupe - i look good eh?

I haven't driven a car since May last year. OBs was here then and one day as we got in the car to go wherever (or it might have been when we were coming out), it occurred to me that I was relying heavily on him. The driving itself is fine (unless I get stuck in traffic - the constant stop and go switching from pedal to pedal fatigues dem legs), it's the simple motion of hauling my left leg in the car after I'm seated and reaching to grab and close my door - that's what I can't do. (i'm beginning to really dislike Blogger - y is this text centered?  steups) Lemme left hand curls up - ESPECIALLY when I need to use it - and I usually have to use the right one to open it up.  In addition to that, when I need the hand, my elbow doesn't like to straighten...ugh! So, I can't reach the door handle and AND I can't grab it to pull the door in. 
I don't remember what I did/how I spent last summer but I can tell u that when my hibernation period started, I wasn't mad that I wasn't driving cuz I wasn't venturing out anyway. But of course winter FINALLY had to done this year and I started thinking seriously about biting the bullet (I haven't had a car payment since May 2013!) and getting an accessible car - I knew that there was no way I could be stuck in here after winter was done, I'd lost so much independence because I couldn't drive. Well I called T-ster cuz I knew he could guide me. One day while we were talking, he said "Stax. Y u putting urself in this expense. U ever thought bout using Lyft?" Lemme tell allyuh...long story short, that was the best advice EVER. let's just say that from the first weekend (as nervous as I was, I was determined to get out), I've not looked back. Wild horses can't keep me in this apartment on weekends and I've regained much of my independence. 

Stax3 is still around. It's amazing how people come into ur life sometimes just at the right time. I've known this older couple for years - one of the first outside Trini family - but we were never really close or stayed in contact outside social settings. Unfortunately it took a very sad event to bring us together, but they currently drive Stax 3 and do some other things to help me out just when I needed to find someone. I do miss my car and driving sometimes, but wha ah go do? In these instances, I just hadda think about the "what if situations (if I drive somewhere...and there could be many (GASP!))" and I know that this is how it has to be. 

That's it for now...hol it dong.


Thursday, June 16


It's been a little over a year.  I stopped writing because my disability was getting worse and I no longer enjoyed(?)/looked forward to(?)/wanted(?) to write about things going in a downward spiral. I think I'm at a point where I'm dealing with the worsened state and I'm okay with it (at the end of the day, I have no choice right?) and I actually want to come back - been thinking about it for the past few days. to catch up...plenty to talk about. 

First things first I suppose, walking with my beloved canes became more and more treacherous. Before I get into that I must say that I have no additional/new MS symptoms - my complaint has always been the steady decline of my walking (I'll get into details later) and it still is. Also, my left hand followed suit and curls up a lot (read "anytime I friggin need to use it") and so that just got progressively worse over time. My canes...I had to overcome a psychological hurdle and come to terms with the fact that I need a walker. I doh care what u call me, but walking with a walker sucks...I do it...and I do it with style ;-) but at the end of the day, it's a walker. I made the Soca Scooter my own and I still do (although these days the poor thing is making noises I never heard before) but there's no way to "jazz up" a walker.  I'll admit though, I didn't get the medical Grey one that u see people putting the tennis balls under, I got a 2wheel one that is black and grey with blue handles but guess what? Yup, it's still a walker. 

I NEED the walker...I cyah be schupid (it's just how we pronounce stupid), so I use it.  I think it's just a chounx wider than those other ones but it works for me. I do use Soca Scooter more now tho than when I walked with canes - sometimes walking doesn't make sense.  The other day I bought a tray for the walker so that if I'm carrying food (hell anything in my hands) I don't have to use the scooter in here.  There's good news too...I didn't have any bad falls before switching from the canes. So, I had to "hang up" my canes.  These days they just liming in a corner of my living room.  sigh! I do miss them

Alright...not going to give u everything in my first post so I gone so.  

P. S...Blogger has made some changes making me ketch meh ass to do this so bear with me as i get back into the flow of things.