Thursday, December 30


I haven't talked about falling in a while and trust me it's NOT because it hasn't happened...the thing about falling is that when i trip (or whatever to cause the fall), i always try to "catch" myself to avoid - this is normal, i s'pose.  But the times that i actually fall is when i realize "shit - this is not going to work" and i just resign myself to hit the ground and hope that i don't hurt myself or land on my face.
That happened one morning last week...i'm really not sure what the hell happened but i knew that the fall had potential to be a great disaster.  I think that I've mentioned before that I've noticed that it's almost as if my legs need to warm up before they work "properly", so who knows just how shaky I was that morning.  All i know is that I was somewhere between the porcelain goddess and the sink which had more stuff than usual around it and so there was no telling how the tumble could end.  I tried, I tried, I tried to hold on to something/anything to balance and then eventually, i said, "fuck it, i'm going down!"  It wasn't as disastrous as I'd anticipated, but there was a helluva lot of noise.  My mother said (yes she's back) that it was the fastest that she'd ever climbed stairs (she was downstairs in the kitchen and heard the noise).

By the time she got to me, I was already down - of course - and had decided that i was going to finish brushing my teeth before even bothering to try to get up.  And the end of it all, I only had a bruised thigh to show for it - could have been MUCH worse!

Thursday, December 23

Merry Christmas!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!'s hoping that you all have a safe and perfect Christmas!!!

Tuesday, December 21

The Formula

it only took 8 months...but i think i've finally figured it out.  I always try to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day - i tell everybody that the only things that i drink are water and alcohol :-).  Anyhoo, so 6 glasses a day, so i figured i (my veins) was well hydrated.  WRONG!  obviously something wasn't right because i would always have to get stuck so many times on infusion day.  but...i think that i've figured out the right formula....

I actually need to drink about 4 glasses the NIGHT before and then 6 more the morning of!  I did that the last 2x and there was no drama each time -the vein popped right up and blood was flowing ( ah lil slow, but that's beside the point).

4 more shopping days before Christmas!!

Monday, December 20


I didn't want to say this out loud before but I think that the Tysabri might actually be working.  I can see a slight improvement.  Trust me, I won't be running any marathons anytime soon, but I am almost positive that there is a small improvement.  Now, I'm not sure if someone looking at me can tell if there's a difference, but I can feel it, altho...

My mother surprised OB and G last week and came back up here for Christmas and i overheard her say to G some day, "but Stacey was walking real good this morning...", a good friend came to see me for a brief 24 hr stint last week and by the end of the day that i'd picked him up at the airport, i was struggling but the next morning, he said to me, "...but A  A, where u running going?"  A few weekends ago, we went to do our Saturday ritual (get eyebrows done) and G was amazed at how well i was walking.

On all the occasions, i had been walking "normally" - well -  as normal as I can be.  It was always that in the mornings, I would struggle less than at the end of the day, but i definitely feel better and look better these days.  There may be a light at the end of this tunnel afterall.

Friday, December 17

hmmm, Christmas

I  realize that not only did having MS mess with my thanksgiving this year, it's also going to mess with Christmas.  I've spoken about routines - managing my MS is all about routines; changing, adding, removing routines as you go.  I guess because it wsn't this time of year, i never thought about the holiday routine - cooking up a storm on thanksgiving, shopping way too much for Christmas, making puncha creme, rum punch, sorrel and i can go on.

well...this year i cannot shop like i want to and it is putting a little (just a little) damper on my Christmas spirit.  I have to shop online - UGH

  • Altho I'm no big shopper, it's not as much fun as going to the store
  • I'll have to buy the specific item - there is no shopping around (altho one can argue that that's a good thing - less $ spent)
  • Kinda limited to the one store - kinda sorta, other stores won't catch my eye as I'm walking out the mall
but i guess it is what it is and there isn't much that I can do about it.  Always have to keep the alternative in mind and that is, going to the mall and then getting depressed WHEN i can't walk out!

I still hate MS!

Thursday, December 9


I've said it once, i'll say it again, "I HATE WINTER", "I HATE COLD WEATHER" fact, the temperatures that we've been having here in Atlanta in Dec are a little concerning to me because Lord knows what January is going to bring - but I digress.

So there is absolutely nothing i like about winter - cept some of the clothes....a nice sweater, absolutely LOVE scarves... and boots.  I think that 1 of the best things that a woman can wear during the winter is a pair of high heeled boots.  Unfortunately my days of that are over :-(  I am deathly afraid of what could potentially happen to me if i put on a pair of high boots - it can only end in disaster.  The last pair of boots that i bought were completely flat - hate that - they are nice, but so not me.  Now don't get me wrong, even before the MS, heels were not really my thing, but every shoe that i owned had to have some height - let's face it,  i'm not the tallest gal at the party!

Now, I'm relegated to flat boots - boots with no heel, no height - nothing!

Tuesday, December 7


was not a good day - it was a "lovely" 30 degrees last nite and never rose above 40ish all day.  I was supposed to go out but opted not to because my legs were not working as they were supposed to at all.  i know that u're tired of hearing me say this, but I don't care what anybody says, my MS works better in warmth/heat and acts like ah ass in the cold.

Monday, December 6

Effin Side Effects - AGAIN!

so the side effects for both spasticity drugs are like the disease itself - totally inconsistent!  They both cause unbelievable drowsiness, in fact, a friend used to try to encourage me to take naps during the day; he'd be happy to know that sometimes these days i take naps by force - not really because i want to.  so anways, i'm on 2 medications (1 of them is 2mg 3x a day - how powerful do u think that is!) and I take them both at 8am, 4 pm and midnite.  when i take the 8am dose - i've already started working and it's unreal just how sleepy i get SOME days.  On those days, the drowsiness kicks me in the face around 9 - 9:30 - i always fight thru it and by 10:00, i'm good.  when i take it at 4? NOTHING - ABSOULTELY NOTHING!!!! cept for the time on the truck in Miami carnival and i was bepin like fus time (nodding off like the first time ever)! 
well at midnite, it's no biggie because 9x out of 10, i'm already in the bed!

Saturday nite, De ParangSide had their kick off to parang season and of course i was at the fete at midnite when my handy dandy alarm went off.  i was good for a while and then here comes the drowsiness.  Now falling asleep at home is 1 thing, dozing in the middle of a party?  totally nother story!!!  but it was unbelievable and i couldn't fight what did i do?  i had to slink off to the back of the place, hide in a corner and sleep for about 1/2 hr!  when i was done, i woke up and continued partying like nothing had happened.

there is no rhyme or reason to when I'll be sleepy and for how long.  it's crazy!

Wednesday, December 1

The Cane

alright, so I'm sold on the use of the cane; it helps me most of the time.  Now, don't get me wrong, there are times when having a cane does not help at all, but those times are few and far between.  i bought 2 - a black and a brown, c'mon now, a chick needs to be stylish and co-ordinated.  They have both served me quite well and so now, i think it's time to put a cane on my christmas list.

  • A thinks i need a limin cane (she's thinking one that lights up or something) to be used only when limin
  • Another friend saw a cane with a sword in a movie - if he sees it on Fulton (he lives in NY); it's mine!
  • G2 is on the prowl for a blinged out 1 with a pimp cup
When i started thinking about/looking for canes, i was amazed at how many options there were "out there".  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that canes would be on the market for $800 or so, but they're out there and there are so many differnt types.  It does make sense tho, i s'pose...for someone like me who has to use canes regularly, you would approach it as an investment and be willing to spend some money on it as opposed to someone in search of a cane temporarily.  Now, would I spend $800 on it?  Absolutely not!  but i am will to go beyond the $14.99 that I spent on the ones that i have now.