The Porcelain Goddess

I know that u jes read this title and now you're wondering, "huh? Where is she going with this?"

I have an imaginary process map (diagram that details all the steps in a process used to identify gaps in the process) in my head for just about everything I do regularly. If things don't happen in a certain way, I could get anxious, lose my balance or worse yet (u know it) fall.  One time Learls was here and she made a comment, "Every time i put this in the right place, it get moved"…uhm, it's because u're putting it in the WRONG place, i have it there so that i can reach it without drama.  There's always method to my madness - ALWAYS!    I've mentioned here before that I cyah hold my pee. Technically, that's not true because I just wrote the statement and I thought of somebody having no control whatsoever and I do have control; I just can't hold it as long as allyuh regular, disease-free folk.  As a result, I don't ever wait till my bladder is busting at the seams to visit the goddess. 

• True story: I've actually gone to check her and...nothing! Why? Cuz she was one that I didn't mind using so figured i'd take advantage but since I didn't have to - nothing!

Anyhoo on the odd occasion that I do wait longer than i should (only at home - of course), you do not want to see me walk.  Between holding and trying to "speed walk" to the goddess it's jes too much for my poor body so all my problems kick into overdrive. The stiffness in my legs, the weakness in my left hand - ugh! I'm really not a pretty sight and then I get to the goddess and she's closed. ARGH - I have a cane in my right hand, a non working left one and if things are really bad, stiff legs (and doh get me started on the fact that i'll have to turn around to sit down). More PRESSHA!!!

I identified a gap - maybe not so much a gap, but an opportunity for improvement.  So these days I've taken to leaving her open (is that how to describe?). That way, there's one less step that I have to do/think about. It goes against every bone in my body - leaving her with the lid up - but I realize that it's just one of those things that needs to be done to make life that much easier for me.  hey, it's the little things!

TMI?