Monday nite, I went to dinner...wobbled into the restaurant and as always, I feel like i have to explain when I'm following the host to a table (esp if I'm by myself) becuz i move so slowly, i tell the guy, I'm going to get there; it'll take me a minute, but i'll get there. Of course, he sees me somewhat shaky and asks if I'm okay. Anytime I'm asked that question, I say yes...no need to get into any long story. But then he says, looks like there's something wrong, did u hurt ur leg? Crap! did he have to ask more questions? really? This is a place that I frequent - ALOT - so I felt the need to tell him the truth, "i have MS so sometimes i stiffen up when I walk"...poor guy. I think he got confused, mumbled under his breath "so sorry" and got the hell out of dodge.
It's not that i want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything, but he asked me more questions - he should have just accepted my first answer and moved the hell on.
Last nite, I went to a friends' house and ran into someone i know who hasn't seen me in a while (we don't keep in touch either). I went into the office yesterday so i did more walking than i should have so by last nite, i was in a state....the conversations went like this:
him: U limping...what's up? u okay?
me: wait a minute, u don't know? I have MS so sometimes walking is a problem
him: Nah! Yuh lie! i doh believe u...u joking
and he walked away...i heard later that he went to confirm with G and SD that i was telling the truth. He honestly didn't believe me. Again, I don't set out to make people feel uncomfortable or anything but sometimes they just don't know how to react and sometimes the truth just isn't necessary either.
I can understand what you're talkig about. Many times I get the same look and the same questions from people that don't know me or know that I have MS.
ReplyDeleteUsually, whenever I meet some one for the first time, I just tell them in our conversation that I have MS but I make sure to close the sentence with "but I am OK".
The last thing I want is pitty and I think is fair to them to know before going away with God knows what on the minds.
Be well,
Alex
In our your friend's defence because I might unwittingly one day say somethin' stupid to someone...remember you've had time to get used to the fact that you have MS. Someone meeting you for the first time and just finding out about it needs time too - especially someone who knew you from before.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is similar or not -but it always feel weird to me when people ask me about my twins - they ask if twins run in my family -and they do and they ask about my cousins (both sets of twins) and then they ask when did I first think I was having twins...and I always pause -do I tell them when they had two embryos in the petri-dish? Just how much do people really need to know. Not that I have anything to hide, but it just makes for conversations that go down the rabbit hole.
ReplyDeleteThat friend must be a Trini -only a Trini would think you mad enough to lie about MS -but yes -it must have come as a shock to him. Which it is never fun to be in that conversation!