A few fears...*GASP*

So...since being diagnosed i do have some fears.

• FALLING - this actually is one of my biggest fears; what if I fall and hurt myself; sometimes i am so stiff and have little balance - did I mention that i live in a 3 story townhouse?  I have to contend with 32 steps everyday!  When I do go into the office, I work downtown on Peachtree St.  For those of u who don't know, Peachtree is the Frederick St of Atlanta.  i am so afraid of falling on Peachtree St, that i feel ill just thinking about it!

True story: I was in Form 3 (13/14 years old) and my mother FINALLY said "ok, u can take maxi - (public transport; there are no school buses in Trinidad; we either took public transportation OR ur parents took u back and forth - so she finally let me take public transport) home after school." I was so excited; i get to walk down Frederick St, lime in Colsort Mall etc (close ur eyes Mummy) and take taxi! WOOHOO!! lime now start!! Well halfway down the street, i fell!!! Yup - my bookbag went 1 way, my binder a next, I was MORTIFIED!!!! how? How d hell did that happen??? To this day,OB(my father) gives me a hard time about it - in fact the other day he told me that he was somewhere and somebody fell up ahead. He said he looked to see if it was me!

• Not being able to walk - probably a close 2nd.  I know that this is also not the end of the world, but it is what it is...
• Pain; I can't say this enuf - I am LUCKY; these days i have no pain
• The unknown - the thing about MS is that it affects people differently.  At any given time, who knows what the disease may have in store for me
•  Falling and not being able to get up
• Holding babies - esp if I'm standing up; suppose i am holding 1 and i fall!
• Walking between cars in a parking lot; this probably is not so much a fear as something i dislike doing - esp when 1 of the cars is not mine...suppose i lose my balance and end up falling/leaning on 1 of the cars!
• Wearing heels...yes because u guessed it - i WILL break my ass (fall)

Maybe one day, i will overcome these fears - who knows, but until then I:

• Stay away from the babies - unless i'm sitting down
• Cross the street very carefully only at the crosswalk and ALWAYS wait for the light (no guarantee, but worth a shot)
• Wear slippers & sneakers almost everywhere i go; helps me to be sure footed

I guess this goes back to my knowing my limitations and not putting myself in situations that i can't handle, but...

u know what they say about the best laid plans...